Office of the Commissioner
May 7, 1988
Welcome Statis Pro Fans!
First off, I’d like to take this moment to thank you for attending this afternoon’s game. Today’s crowd may possibly set a Statis Pro single-game attendance record, and if it does, it will be because you, the fans, have shown such a high level of enthusiasm for Statis Pro Baseball. Or, maybe, it will be because the tickets were free.
Today marks the first time in nearly eight years that Cubs third baseman Steve Ontiveros will be playing in a baseball game, and to celebrate the occasion, all fans in attendance will receive a ‘Steve Ontiveros Day’ collector’s pin, to be worn right now. So put it on!
I hope you enjoy the game and live to tell your grandkids about it. It should prove to be an exciting one, chock-full of great plays, low random numbers, and possibly even a few cool Z-Plays. So have fun!